Crippled By The Past, Blinded By The Future

Someone once told me that the more things change, the more things remain... insane. Well if my goal was to make that come true, I'm a star.

Madison had been staying with me for a couple of days. I can't imagine those last days had been easy for her. Adjusting to a whole new environment and coping with the death of our parents. I still think she was confused by my easy acceptance of their loss. But the truth was that it wasn't any easier on me, my heart was just... frozen. So frozen that not even the fire that burned both my parents alive could melt.
As was predicted, Madison had saved me. At least a little. My depression was getting better. At least a little. I started looking back over my shoulder in my dark state of mind. At least a little. Because everything was slow in this clinic. I hadn't even tried to imagine the day someone would come marching in to tell me that someone had marrow for me. I was on a long long list. And I had only been there for a month or two.
Just when I had started to, Madison sat up from laying on the couch in my room. She looked anxiously over, as if expecting some great event.
"Jas?"
"Huh?"
She shook her head and got up, walking over and sitting down on my bed. She pressed her hands slightly down on my chest. I was way more than confused wondering weather a nurse or a hooker had possessed her. She looked at me. Oh great, that's the "trust me, Jasper" face. I nodded. A silent code we had developed.
She sighed. She moved her hand to where the buttons were on the front of my shirt (I'm not kidding, I have to wear a modified version of those stupid hospital robes). She unbuttoned the first one but I instinctively grabbed her hand. Clearly thinking that I was hiding something she just used her other hand to reach the other buttons. Unbelievable. My sister is stripping me.
When she got to the last button, she pulled my shirt open.
And all I can say is... holy shit.
There were bruises all over my chest of varying sizes and colors. She leaned slightly forward and pushed my head back.
"Jasper!"
Then I remembered, leukemic people bruised like hell. The specific appalling bruise Madison must have been looking at was probably left from when I almost slit my throat.
"What happened to you?" She sounded really upset.
"... Acute myeloid leukemia."
"How bad is it Jas? How bad?"
"I dunno." I swallowed hard. I nudged her, then ran my hand down a small scar in the crook of my arm. If she didn't know about the bruising, I bet she didn't guess this.
"What's that from?"
"When they drew my bone marrow to test it." I said, slightly smiling. "It's a lot like on House."
She slightly smiled, too.
There was a lot she needed to know about my disease and treatment if she was going to be living with me. But the first step was jading her to the symptoms and scars left.
It wasn't easy for her, seeing her own brother like this. I could see it in her eyes.
But we're all a little dead inside. Just some more than others.
And I'm one of those.